Forgiveness
by Biene
Summary: After the Valentine/Magnus body-switch Magnus and Alec talk about what happened. Angst, romance, fluff ensues.


A/N: So, after almost binge-watching, I needed to write a little something. Please, guys, let me know what you think!

Of course, I own nothing, Magnus and Alec belong to Cassandra Clare, not me…

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Alec was almost crushed by the amount of guilt he felt. He should have believed Magnus when he told him he wasn't Valentine but Magnus. To think about how much pain he could have spared the warlock… Alec had put his hands on him with the intent to harm him and had almost followed the order to execute him! How could Magnus ever forgive him that? By the angel, he had watched him being tortured, had even allowed it! How could Magnus ever look at him again without remembering that? There had been so many signs, "Magnus" not wanting him to come over that evening, refusing his help, calling him "Alec" and getting rid of him the next day… He should have known! If he had just paid more attention he would have seen something was wrong and could have done something!

Alec was certain the next time they'd speak Magnus would tell him their relationship was over. And he couldn't even blame him for that… The thought broke Alec's heart into small, sharp splinters, each slicing a little bleeding wound spilling tiny droplets of blood.

Alec avoided Magnus for the rest of the day, even though he wanted nothing more than to hold him tight, to tell him how sorry he was and to beg for forgiveness he didn't deserve. But he just couldn't, his mind kept showing him Magnus rejecting him, flinching away from him when he tried to reach for him.

Only when Magnus texted him asking him to come over to talk he forced himself to go. This was about what Magnus needed and no matter what it was, Alec would always give it to him. So if he wanted Alec in his loft, Alec would be there. He quickly texted back he was on his way. With his speed rune activated, he made it in a couple of minutes. Standing in front of the door Alec hesitated though. He did have a key and had used it for a while now, but after all that had happened he wasn't sure if he had the right to anymore. Before he could decide the door swung open. Of course Magnus was aware of his presence. There had never been a time when he hadn't been, just like the Shadowhunter was always able to tell when the warlock was close. So Alec stepped inside, step by step until he saw Magnus. His first instinct was to run up to him and pull him into his arms, yet Magnus' rigid and poised body language made him stay were he was. His eyes were unglamoured and in the still beautiful cat's-eyes Alec saw all the weariness and pain the anguish rune had caused. Alec reached out with his hands, palms up:

"Magnus…"

The Shadowhunter did not know what else to say, his voice broken, betraying the anguish he felt. He wished so much to have Magnus' talent with words, to have the ability to find the right ones to soothe him, to take his pain away, to make sure he knew how much he loved him. Magnus finally looked up at him.

"Alexander…"

And suddenly Magnus' resolve crumbled, his knees buckling. Sheer strength of will had kept him going so far, but no longer. Immediately Alec caught him, wrapping his arms around his waist, his head falling into the familiar hollow of Alec's shoulder. Magnus was shivering violently, noises that almost sounded like wails escaping his mouth. They cut right through Alec, multiplying his guilt. Tears fell from his eyes as he held on, hands moving to stroke Magnus' back and hair, whispering "I'm here, I got you now" into his ear. Alec lowered them to the ground, pulling Magnus into his lap. While he comforted him he couldn't help thinking this was probably the last time he'd get to be this close to him. He tried to memorise his unique scent, the smell of the spices that always seemed to surround him. Finally Magnus calmed down, shivers and tears subsiding. He moved his head back so he could look into Alec's eyes.

"Thank you, Alexander."

This was to much for Alec, he almost exploded.

"Thank you? Thank you? By the angel, Magnus, how can you thank me? I did not believe you when you told me who you were, I hurt you, let you be tortured, I was practically ready to execute you! I strapped you to that chair! My hands touched you, ready to harm you, even though I promised myself I'd never cause you pain! I can't tell you how sorry I am… I…I…"

He closed his eyes in despair, unable to go on. It was just unbearable. He could have lost Magnus and he himself would have been responsible for it!

A hand caressing his cheek tenderly made him open his eyes again, a touch he unconsciously instinctively leaned into.

"Hey… But you didn't. It didn't happen. You saved me, okay? You were in time. Yes, it hurt and it's going to take some time to get over what happened, but I am alive and I will be fine."

Alec sighed, not wanting to pose the next question yet unable not to.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Alec pleaded then, hope rekindled now that Magnus made no move to push him away. In fact he snuggled even closer into Alec's protective hold.

"I already have, Alexander… You were taught since infancy how dangerous Valentine is, how you shouldn't believe a word he says, you practically had no choice other than to not trust what I said, to seek any other explanation. I understand that, I really do. I don't blame you."

Profound relief coursed through Alec, the words slowly sinking in.

"Oh Magnus…"

He tried to put all his raging emotions in the warlock's name, needing to find some way to articulate them to Magnus. They had often succeeded in communicating without a single word, he hoped this would be one of those times. It was so hard for him to believe Magnus even considered forgiving him… The last few days had to have been hell for him, Alec remembered too vividly how he had suffered under the agony rune. He locked eyes with Magnus.

"Will you please let me help you cope with everything that's happened?"

Now Magnus' eyes bared him completely revealing all the unconditional love he had for Alec. The shadowhunter's heart lurched in his chest when he saw it was still there, still a brightly burning flame that had not been extinguished by the recent events.

"Always…"

Just like that Alec breathed freely again, he could hardly grasp that he had not lost the man he loved.

He wasn't able to hold himself back any longer, he leaned in to press his lips softly against Magnus', yearning for the familiar taste. He welcomed him eagerly, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. For a while they lost themselves in each other, their tongues dancing together sinuously, hands caressing their lover's body. In an unspoken agreement they kept their touches light, not aimed at firing their passion, rather nourishing the steady fire that constantly burned between them, reaffirming the bond they shared.

Only when they both started to yawn due to the mental and physical exhaustion of the day they broke apart. They smiled at each other and Magnus broke the silence.

"Want to go to bed, Alexander?"

Alec's smile broadened, there was nothing he wanted more. It had only been a few days since he'd stayed overnight at the loft, yet he had missed it. He enjoyed sleeping next to his warlock, their limbs completely entangled. Most of all he savoured waking up next to him, watching Magnus sleep and then slowly wake up, his cats' eyes blinking and his whole beautiful face lighting up when he became aware of Alec's presence. After a quiet "Good Morning" and a few lazy kisses they always took some precious time to just stay in bed cuddling, which quite often led to more.

"Oh, yes, Magnus, please!"

At that, Magnus moved to stand up, his hands lingering on Alec's shoulder until he offered one to the Shadowhunter to help him get up. He took it without hesitation, keeping their fingers entwined while walking to their bedroom. Before he turned to the adjoining bathroom Magnus snapped his fingers three times, the first snip to undress them, the second to clean them up as a long shower would and the third to brush their teeth and to remove Magnus' still colourful make-up.

After a few more steps they fell into their bed, barely managing to slip beneath the covers. The last thing Magnus felt was how Alec pulled him close against his chest, his nose buried against the Shadowhunter's deflect rune. With a content sigh he drifted off to sleep.

His mind would not quite let him rest for long though. _The memory_ was still too present in his mind, so it was no wonder when Magnus jostled awake, the image of his burning father flickering in front of his eyes. His wet cheeks told him he must have cried during his nightmare. Alec's thumb wiping at the tears pulled him back to the present and with all his might he clung to that sensation to calm down.

"Magnus?"

Alec uttered softly. It was easy for the warlock — even in the distraught state he was in — to understand all the questions behind this single expression. "What happened? A nightmare?", "Is it okay now?", "How can I help you feel better? What do you need?" and "Do you want to talk about it?".

Magnus snuggled closer, letting Alec's strength and calming presence wash over him.

"Just hold me, will you? Right now, that is all I need."

"Of course, you'll never have to ask."

They lay back and Magnus settled against Alec, who wrapped an arm around his waist and used his free hand to stroke the nape of his neck. During their first time he'd found out how much his lover liked that and since then he'd often made use of that knowledge. Like always it had the unfailing effect of making Magnus's tense muscle relax.

Magnus felt that Alec would've wished him to talk about the awful events the agony rune had dredged to the surface, still he would not force the issue. Something he was deeply grateful for. He had the inkling someday soon he would tell his Shadowhunter all about it. For the moment however, he could not bring himself to do it, he had kept those things to himself for too long.

To ease Alec's worry Magnus whispered:

"I'll tell you about it, just not now, okay?"

For Alec that was enough, so after a soft kiss, he murmured an "Okay" into Magnus's ear. Magnus' heart swelled at that acknowledgement. His Shadowhunter was so amazing…

"I love you, Alexander."

"I love you, too, Magnus.

With that, a comfortable stillness settled over them. There was no need to talk, from the beginning neither of them had felt compelled to fill any silence with mindless chatter. Their connection was too profound for that, their mutual understanding of one another too deep. So they just lay in bed, wrapped up in each other basking in their love. They would face the world with all its problems again tomorrow, for now though they took some much need time together.

\- The End -

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A/N: So, that's it for now… Liked it? Hated it? Loved it? Let me know and drop me a review! :-)


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